recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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