Non-Jews are for practice
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
