singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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