do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize