Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
