rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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