You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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