And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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