You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize