i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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