Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
