we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize