dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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