I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
