I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize