Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
