I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
