plz talk dirty to me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize