dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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