The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found a bag of teeth...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
