I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
