did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
too bad you live with your parents still
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
