Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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