i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
