And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
