I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
