you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
