I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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