I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize