You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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