I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
