I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked