yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.