he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There r osticjed everywhere
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
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At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?