Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
