Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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