it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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