Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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