will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
