apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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