I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
