Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
