The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
