Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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