Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
