Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
