You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
