Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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