how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize