You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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