now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize