you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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