ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
