covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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