you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There r osticjed everywhere
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
