Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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