I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
