I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I will pee on everything he values.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
