I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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